Thursday, March 19, 2009

Marvel wants you to blow Wolverine

In the Advocate:

Christian conservatives are up in arms over a new inflatable toy by comic book and film giant Marvel. The inflatable Wolverine doll comes with a strategically placed inflation tube -- right on his crotch.

An article on got straight to the point -- "We might as well line our children up and burn them ourselves! If we make these types of devil-pleasing acts OK, they will all be burning in the fire lakes anyways... What’s next? The Wonder Woman lollipop?"

Okay. Who votes for deliberate foolery on the part of Marvel, and who votes for just-didn't-think-to-check? And how many children would get it, anyway? I know I wouldn't have thought twice (or even once) as, say, an eight year-old. But perhaps kids are more alert to this stuff now. Thoughts?



  1. I vote for two parts of the design process that were meant to be separate (image on one side, blowhole on the other,) but when they hot the Chinese factory, the lines got crossed.



    Hungry for Yuri? Have some Okazu!

  2. Too funny! I kind of hope someone at Marvel did notice it and just let it slip know, just to shake things up :P

  3. I think it would be naive to say that Marvel didn't know what they were doing. Maybe some kids will notice, because really, some parents take no notice of what their kids are watching on TV, or even the content of the video games they're playing.

    As for - I went to the website and it at least afforded me a good laugh. Nice way to start off the weekend. I always knew that there was something about Russian music!

  4. I'm about 40 and I would have totally noticed this as a kid in, like, 1978. This is an old joke - definitely in Airplane (when they inflate the auto pilot) and (I think) there is some Mae West business about claiming to be able to inflate a tire.

    But Erica's probably right. If I remember my childhood inflatables properly, the blowhold usually goes on the bottom, so the factory likely mixed the specs up. Must have been a slow news day for the Xtians!

  5. Gives a whole new meaning to the name "Hugh Jackman."

  6. Renegade Chinese worker is where i'm placing my money.

    Too funny!

  7. I'm with Erica. The inflation tube is always on the back side of a blow up toy, never on the image. Whether or not a kid 'gets it' is really secondary to the shoddy sort of products that we've become accustomed to.
    I wonder what its lead level is...

  8. Umm, I just went to Can you say "the Onion," boys and girls? ALbeit in New Testament Greek equivalent.

  9. If you give Wolverine a BJ, you go to hell. YOU DO THE MATH! Kids-- don't give BJs!

  10. So like, I just called my 11 and 9 year old over (the oldest is too busy playing video games) and was like, "Check this cool toy out guys" with no hint or indication that anything was "off". Both my spawn giggled insatiably, and I roared in laughter for having to supress it for so long.

    In regards to "ChristWire.Org"? I didn't know blowing Wolverine could get you a "go straight to hell" pass.

    I would LOVE a strategically placed Wonderwoman lollipop. Blowing Wolverine wouldn't be so bad either, but I know he's your least favorite character. :) I'm pretty sure it was done accidentally.

  11. Uh. Look. I don't think this toy exists, except in the imagination of (Which is satire. I least I hope to god it is. There again, I thought Starship Troopers, the book, was satire, until someone let me down gently.)

  12. Too bad. Let's make one immediately; it's a certain cash cow!

  13. Confirmed. Go to this Advocate article.

    According to The Advocate:
    "...further digging confirms the toy is a hoax hatched by the clever folks over at The Onion's affiliate website


  14. Bahaha, niiiice. Reminds me of the Little Mermaid VHS cover scandal...

    And you'd be amazed at how many 8-yr-olds know about these's a little disturbing at times.

    Me, I think it's hilarious. :)

  15. If it gets parents to talk with their kids about real sex, I'm all for it. The Onion was a true midwestern product from Madison, WI before it moved to the Big Apple, don't forget.

  16. hahaha! I loved this so much I blogged it.

  17. I think CK may be right. When I was taking Women's Studies (over 30 years ago) I read about a secretary who hated her boss. For years she had been typing the closing on all of his business letters as Director of Pubic Relations. Apparently, he never noticed!

  18. I love the Onion but had not come across Christwire until this post - what a great way to deflate the pomposity of the far right with a few well placed inflatables!!

  19. Wonder... Woman... lollipop... I'm sorry, what?

  20. Everyone watch this:

  21. Hi,

    My name is Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia on YouTube. I am a professional Toy designer and own the worlds Largest Toy Collection.

    An Article dated March 19,2009 in the Advocate Newspaper and other Online News Sources stated that the Viral Image of the inflatable Wolverine toy was a Hoax Created by the Onion Site "ChristWire".

    That is not correct. I JUST created a YouTube video featuring the Actual Wolverine toy.

    It is a Wolverine toy Inflatable Squeaky Hammer from 9 Years ago. It was an officially Licensed Marvel Product, inported by Rinco, "The Rhode Island Novelty Company".

    I have a dozen original samples and I JUST featured them in my Newest Product Review Video.

    You are welcome to embed the video if you wish. My JeepersMedia Toy Review videos feature unintentionally inappropriate toys. I am a Top Subscribed and Viewed YouTube channel.

    I recently Appeared on NBC on the Bonnie Hunt Show featuring the Hot New Toys for Christmas 2009.

    Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia on YouTube