If you're easily alarmed, inclined to panic, and don't have access to Tetris or psychoactive substances, you might not want to read this.
A few days ago The Independent tells us of the chaos in Melbourne. Australia is melting:
Leaves are falling off trees in the height of summer, railway tracks are buckling, and people are retiring to their beds with deep-frozen hot-water bottles, as much of Australia swelters in its worst-ever heatwave.
On Friday, Melbourne thermometers topped 43C (109.4F) on a third successive day for the first time on record, while even normally mild Tasmania suffered its second-hottest day in a row, as temperatures reached 42.2C. Two days before, Adelaide hit a staggering 45.6C. After a weekend respite, more records are expected to be broken this week.
Ministers are blaming the heat – which follows a record drought – on global warming. Experts worry that Australia, which emits more carbon dioxide per head than any nation on earth, may also be the first to implode under the impact of climate change.
At times last week it seemed as if that was happening already. Chaos ruled in Melbourne on Friday after an electricity substation exploded, shutting down the city's entire train service, trapping people in lifts, and blocking roads as traffic lights failed. Half a million homes and businesses were blacked out, and patients were turned away from hospitals.
For those who live in places like Phoenix and Las Vegas, you're next. (Bear in mind 45.6C is about 115F. Death Valley temperatures. And your water is running out.) No, I'm not kidding. You should move. Now. It's going to get worse. I'm pretty tired of people hiding their heads in the sand. And sand is all that will be left in a couple of years.